Beautifully determined

I started a notebook of letters to my daughter months before she was ever born. It was important to me that she know that she was on my mind and in my heart long before her arrival.

Tonight as I sat down to write her a note I was struck with the significance of knowing ones value or worth to another… Not that our worth or value comes from another person. But the unexplainable piece of feeling accepted and even known by another person, is powerfully impactful.

Tonight I share a letter to my little one… My hopes, my fears, my vulnerabilities and my prayer.

“My precious bundle of exuberance, you are such a unique soul, filled with zest for life and personality to spread into the world. I feel such a sense of pride and joy in being your mommy. Even though I know that I make mistakes and miss out at times- I am ever so grateful for the opportunity to be your mom.

You have truly come alive over the past few months, personality popping out and shinning through your daily interactions.
You test me daily.
You push the limits.
You explore your world viscerally, head to toes and everything in between. You delight in most everything and are open to try new things and meet new people and you laugh and love just the same. You grow more independent each day, you are strong and determined and beautifully aware of your needs and wants and able to express them without shame.

It is my prayer that you will always know the unique beauty and ability you possess and that you will not shy away from sharing who you are with others. I want to encourage and foster in you, a drive and determination and desire- I want to set an example of balance and poise- and grace for the gaps.
I want to listen more than advise, while simultaneously share with you everything that I know.

You are such a gift and a much wanted addition to our family and I pray you always know that and feel that deep within.

I am sorry for the times that I fail you and for the future times I will do the same… Perhaps when I do more damage than good. For the times I might make you question or doubt your own intuition, forgive me and don’t be afraid to challenge me. I can promise I will do my best and to give you all that I have to give and to own it when I do not.

You are the blueberry in my yogurt and I love you to the moon and back!”